Made of Awesome Contest
I appreciate everyone’s comments and I wanted to get your opinions on a big debate with this first chapter. I originally had a different first chapter but I later changed it trying to have more character development. Well, I am starting to think my first one was better, based on your wonderful and helpful comments. Let me know what you think? Thanks!
My Made of Awesome Contest Entry:
“In Irons” YA Fantasy 55,000 words
Liz Kavanagh sat on her living room sofa as her younger sister Anne dozed beside her. Liz lifted her
snoozing younger sister Anne’s head and placed it gently on her lap. It was nearly ten o’clock, and she was wiped out from the festivities. As she ran her fingers through Anne’s hair, she thought to herself that her birthday had been fun, but that it was nice to have some peace and quiet to end the day.
Liz Kavanagh wasn’t quite sure when she had decided that today was going to be life-changing for her . . . but she had. No more being the shy bookworm, she resolved. She was a teenager now, and she wanted to enjoy it. Liz fidgeted with the chain of her new necklace while she thought about her interaction with Christian at the party, blushing as she remembered their awkward hug goodbye.
Liz twisted her hair and secured it with a clip, letting a few of her long orange tendrils hang free. Much better, she thought as she felt the cool air hit the back of her damp neck. Even though she was more comfortable, she still had an uneasy feeling in her stomach that made it almost impossible for her to either drift off to sleep or focus on the buzzing of the television. It wasn’t just what happened with Christian earlier, she realized. Liz glanced at the ornate harp, the heavy old blank book, and the necklace box on the coffee table, all presents from her family.