Well, I would say the last Made of Awesomeness Contest from Shelley Watters’s blog was kind of painful for me. But I needed to hear everything that you wonderful people had to say. I went through not only my first page but my entire manuscript, and the result is amazing. One very helpful tip I got last time was that maybe my first page wasn’t where the story really started. And boy was that right! So this is now the first page.
Here’s how it works: I post my first 250 on my blog for critique. Then on the 27th I will post my revised (revisions come from your helpful critiques) first 250 on Shelley’s blog, and then the amazing awesome agent Victoria Marini of Gelfman Schneider Literary Agency will judge. Oh ,and the prize is incredible; I want it so badly—it’s a request for the entire manuscript with a partial critique. Yeah, you might want to reread the prize again, because it’s that awesome. OK, so don’t forget to go to Shelley Watters’s Blog and click on the other writer’s blogs to help them with their critiques. I hope you enjoy my first 250.
Title: “In Irons”
Genre/Word count: YA Fantasy 60,000 words
Liz Kavanagh wasn’t quite sure when she had decided that her thirteenth birthday was going to be life-changing for her . . . but she had. “Baby steps,” she had told herself, laughing as she pictured her new look and attitude. Her new love, maybe?
Liz stood, stretched, and turned towards the stairs, thinking only of her bed and her dreams. Dreams, she admitted, that she hoped would include Christian.
“Liz, wait. We have something to show you.”
Liz was startled by the sound of her mother’s voice, but she asked no questions. She trailed uncertainly behind her mom as they walked down the hallway and out the front door. The coolness of the summer night swallowed her and she could taste the salt in the air. Her mother’s ivory skin almost seemed to glow in the moonlight. Is there another present? Liz wondered. It must be something big. A new bike, maybe.
But there was no present in sight. Liz felt more confused with each step they took, and as they drew closer to the cliff’s edge, she tried to comfort herself with the sound of the waves rolling onto the shore below. Finally her mother stopped beside one of the large oak trees that lined their property. Liz watched in utter astonishment as a door appeared in its trunk.
Liz’s mother stepped through and signaled for Liz to follow. She couldn’t react. Fear squeezed her throat and kept her from screaming, What is going on?
Well, did it make you want to read on? What did you think? Thanks to everyone in advance for your help.